14 Comments
User's avatar
Ceinwen McMillan's avatar

Useful, Bear, for those of us who haven't the stomach to read the right-wing press or watch GB News. Brave of you to take one for the team and do it for us. Thank you!

Expand full comment
Willy & Bill's avatar

“Heaven’s Customer Service Line Is Still Busy (Press 1 for Plagues)”

We gathered to pray away the gay,

while the Thames caught fire on a Tuesday.

Children starved, the rich got fatter,

but God’s real focus? Bedroom chatter.

A choir of moral panic sang,

their pitch as sharp as a Daily Mail pang.

They banned rainbows, taxed compassion,

and called it “traditional family fashion.”

We passed the plate, ignored the flood,

and sprinkled hate with holy mud.

The vicar shouted, “Love the sinner!”

then billed them £20 for the dinner.

Meanwhile, heaven’s helpdesk took a call:

“Hi, yes, the planet’s about to fall.”

Saint Peter sighed, “We’re short-staffed, mate,

but we’ve cured a bisexual in Colgate.”

They blessed a tank, condemned a kiss,

and blamed the gays for the ozone’s hiss.

A dove returned with smoke and debt,

but at least no lesbians own a jet.

And when the angels checked the score,

Earth rang up: “Er, third world war?”

God said, “Sorry, lads, I’ve got to stay,

Karen’s upset her son’s gone gay.”

Amen, they cried, with moral grace,

then tripped on logic’s broken face.

If heaven’s PR runs this show,

I’ll take the sinners, they’ve better flow.

Expand full comment
Willy & Bill's avatar

I’ve got friends of faith from all walks of life, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Sikh, Hindu, you name it. This isn’t about them, or about belief itself. It’s about the people who twist faith into a weapon, who look at hunger, war, and suffering, and decide the real emergency is two men holding hands.

Expand full comment
Kane Clements's avatar

It is all hysterical propaganda mixed with attention seeking and show business.

Telegraph, Mail, GBNews and Fox are shit stirrers. Not a redeeming feature.

There will Bear not a single week when you are not almost overwhelmed by examples for these posts.

Expand full comment
W Adam's avatar

The sad thing is our media gives us more of this crap every single day. Mostly verbatim without any proper forensic analysis which would prove it was crap.

Expand full comment
SueGenevanana's avatar

Your observations confirm what I’ve been aware of for a long time, the current printed word is written by hacks of the gutter press. All the real journalists, investigative and knowledgeable have gone elsewhere.

Expand full comment
Caz's avatar

Wow. The amount of utter drivel that passes for journalism these days is mind-boggling. Thank you for wading through this tripe so I don't have to - I stopped listening to/watching TV radio news some time ago and rely on well-informed people like yourself, Bylines and other trustworthy writers here to find out what's actually going on.

Expand full comment
WordChazer's avatar

I read some news, but I refuse to watch TV. I just don't have the patience.

Expand full comment
Powered By Wheels's avatar

I always listen with Read Aloud on PC/Laptop it's perfect for listening to you posts, I used to do the same with your long Twitter posts. I like this new breakdown too.

Expand full comment
George Aliferis, CAIA's avatar

Interesting culture wars happening in the video game industry, this is the ip of the iceberg https://www.ign.com/articles/assassins-creed-set-during-post-civil-war-period-canceled-last-year-due-to-increasing-concerns-over-us-political-climate-report

Expand full comment
The Bear's avatar

Hi George,

That's a really interesting article - would you mind if I sent you a DM?

Best,

Bear

Expand full comment
George Aliferis, CAIA's avatar

sure (NB: I didn't write)

Expand full comment
Elaine Maisey's avatar

Fantastic, had a good giggle at the Woke Pub, there's some who would say a silent woman IS an angel. Very interesting read, loved it all. Thank you.

Expand full comment
WordChazer's avatar

Thanks Bear. I can see this read becoming routine on the drawn out Friday night trundle home on the bus.

Expand full comment