Unmasking the Charade: Beyond the Rwanda Scheme Ruse

Peeling Back Layers of Tory Political Theater to Reveal Deeper Systemic Failures

I fell into a trap this week. One cunningly set by Rishi Long-Stockings and his constantly on, very overpaid PR Machine - and I know that I’m not the only one.

Which trap am I referring to? The Rwanda Scheme, of course.

At the moment, I have the feeling that you get when you’ve eaten too much of the same thing - like five whole bags of Sour Patch Kids - my mouth sour, sore and raw, my mind swimming with too much sugar, and my stomach churning at too much bile. I feel positively permeated and saturated with all the abject fuckery that has been flying around about the Rwanda Scheme. The whole sordid saga really is now feeling like a PR stunt - and it feels that way because that is exactly what it is. It is a blatant gimmick thought up two Prime Ministers and about four Home Secretaries ago that was always only meant to be a big piece of red meat to the ERG and the Rabid Right, and this is a sad case of something that’s gotten too big, gone too far and has had too many people committed not only to its passing but also its downfall.

And the thing that snapped me out of my own navel-gazing? Jess Phillips. In the debate about the Rwanda Bill, she finally shattered the illusion of just how incredibly absurd and pantomime-like the whole situation has become. The weighing up of £169,000 per refugee to be shipped to Rwanda weighed against £42 spent per victim of child sexual abuse last year wasn’t just a wake-up call to me - it was a gut punch. It is a sickening indictment of not only the performance of this Tory government and their list of abject failures but also how they’ve spun a web that has caught us all. It’s a web of outrage, anger, chaos, and deception - and they’ve spun it masterfully.

Am I saying that we shouldn’t be angry? Abso-fucking-lutely not. What I’m saying is we should be angry at the right thing. Rwanda? It’s an irrelevance. I need to personally stop focusing on this sideshow that is 100% meant to catch our eye, with its cast of clowns, a plot of peril and drama and a set of grandeur in the House of Commons that is anything but.

The final nail in the coffin, though? Our illustrious Prime Miniature calling for a press conference, standing a diminished force for all the word to see, speaking flaccid words about “the will of the people” when the support for his party is at about 20% in the polls, pre-casting aspersions on the unelected House of Lords (an institution I am no fan of) while having an unelected Foreign Secretary sitting in that very house. This morning was a clear launch of attack ads against Labour (who, as a reminder, has not been in power for going on 14 years) and a prophylactic shift of blame to lefty lawyers because he knows that the Rwanda Scheme will not pass any sort of legal scrutiny, and he is creating the firebreaks he hopes to use in future.

Honestly - it’s embarrassing how transparent this is, and even more so that I’ve fallen for it. I must be smarter than that.

So, on that note, I say, to here and no further. I will, of course, still write about Rwanda and the Home Office fuckery attached to it, but it will be treated as it should be - a sideshow worth only to point and laugh at.

I am urged to remind myself that through a set of rather interesting circumstances (people finding my swearing funny, I think), I’ve amassed a large following and a certain amount of influence, and what I need to avoid doing is becoming a part of the larger chorus singing about the same things.

So, from now on, what I will be doing instead is turning my eye on the other systemic failures that this Tory Government has presided over - subjects that are far more deserving of attention and dissection than the theatrical distraction being thrown at our feet in the form of the Rwanda Scheme. What I will be focusing on today is the major strike action in Northern Ireland, WASPI Women and the Teesside Inquiry.

Let us begin.

Northern Ireland

As we sit amidst the raging tempest that is UK political pantomime, let's cast our eyes to Northern Ireland, the part of the union we seem so often to forget, where an absolutely monumental strike is unfolding today, the likes of which haven't been seen in years. But why the hell are 170,000 workers telling their government to piss off?

Let's peel back the layers of this rotten onion.

The core stench? The Stormont Government hasn't been sitting for years, bogged down in a quagmire of political deadlock and sectarian bickering. It’s like watching a group of toddlers fight over a toy that none of them actually want, except these are supposed adults running a country. Their outright pettiness and chronic inability to form an Executive have left public sector workers out in the cold (quite literally today), with their wages having been frozen in time due to no one in power giving a flying fuck about them or the country they’re meant to be governing. It's a disgraceful omnishambles.

Teachers, health workers, and transport staff – all are caught in this absurd political standoff. They're sick of being the punching bag for a government that's more ghost than reality. This strike isn't just about pay, though; it's a furious backlash against a non-functioning Stormont, a government that's essentially abandoned its post, leaving its people to fend for themselves. It’s like the captain of a ship jumping overboard and leaving the crew to navigate through a storm.

As we watch this unfold, let's not forget the bigger picture. This isn't just a local issue; it's symptomatic of the larger disease plaguing our politics in the whole of the United Kingdom – a toxic mix of incompetence, indifference, and inaction. Northern Ireland's workers are merely the latest victims of this governmental farce.

So, as this week rolls on, keep your eyes on this prize fight. Northern Ireland's strike is a damning indictment of not just a regional failure but of the UK’s political system at large – a system that seems to have lost its bloody mind in addition to its ability to do what it’s supposed to, which is govern.

WASPI Women

Next up, let's shine a scorching spotlight on the WASPI women – a group who have been so royally fucked over by a government that's as engaged as a Tory Politician shortly after winning their seat. WASPI – Women Against State Pension Inequality – isn't just a group; it's a battlefront against governmental incompetence and indifference.

These are the women, around 3.6 million strong, born in the 1950s, who've had the rug pulled out from under them with the State Pension age hike. Imagine planning your retirement, counting down the days, only to be told, "Oops, sorry, love, we've moved the goalposts." It's not just a move; it's a betrayal, a callous, cold-hearted shafting that's left many scrambling in their twilight years.

The heart of this mess? A masterclass in piss-poor planning and communication by the government. These women were utterly blindsided, given absolutely no notice, and treated with a contempt no one deserves, and now, they're left to bear the brunt of financial woes, health issues, and emotional turmoil.

The Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman is on the case, but Christ, talk about slow. After over five years, the final report on this clusterfuck is due, and it might – just might – offer some compensation. But let's not hold our breath. We're talking about a system that's been about as responsive as a coma patient.

As we dissect the WASPI debacle, let's not shy away from its most tragic element: the women who are dying without ever seeing the justice they've fought for. This isn't just a policy failure; it's a human tragedy, a sordid tale of lives spent in limbo, waiting for a resolution that arrives too late or not at all.

These women, who've tirelessly campaigned against the State Pension age hike, aren't just numbers on a spreadsheet; they're individuals with stories, dreams, and families. They've been promised a stable future, only to have it snatched away with the cold indifference of a government more focused on bureaucratic dawdling than human suffering.

The fact that many of these women are passing away without receiving the compensation they're owed is a damning indictment of a government that moves with the urgency of a sloth on sedatives. It's a stark reminder that behind every policy and every delay, there are real people suffering real consequences.

So, as we watch this unfold, let's not forget the real story here. It's not just about pensions; it's about respect, dignity, and a government's duty to its people. The WASPI women are fighting not just for themselves but for the principle of fair play, something this government seems to have forgotten.

Supporting these women is supporting justice. Raise your voices, hound your MPs, and keep the conversation alive. This isn't just their fight; it's ours too. Because, let's face it, if they can screw over a generation this way, who’s to say you're not next?

Teesworks Corruption and Cover-Ups

Lastly, I’m diving headfirst into the murky depths of the Teesworks scandal, a salaciously sordid tale of alleged corruption and cronyism that's reeking more of a coverup with each passing day. Spearheaded by Levelling Up Secretary Michael Gove, this inquiry into Teesworks – part of the government's flashy (and very dodgy) freeport project – is turning into a masterclass in evasion and delay.

Picture this: a joint venture between Tory Tees Valley Mayor Ben Houchen’s South Tees Development Corporation and companies helmed by local developers. Sounds like a recipe for progress, right? But scratch the surface, and you find a stew of "corruption, wrongdoing, and illegality" allegations that could make a damned mob boss blush.

Gove, rather than bringing in the big guns of the National Audit Office, has opted for an "independent" panel of his choosing - which immediately should have set every single alarm bell ringing. The “investigation” was supposed to wrap up last summer. Then autumn.

Then winter.

Now, we're looking at spring – maybe.

Ian Lavery has been accusing the inquiry of being "kicked into the long grass" to avoid sullying the mayoral elections in Teesside - which let’s face it, is not at all a stretch of the imagination. Gove's bleat in response? A shrug and a refusal to commit to a timeline. It's as if he's treating this inquiry like a leisurely stroll in the park, rather than a sprint to uncover potential corruption.

Adding to this plot is the revelation that Teesworks' net profits tripled to a whopping £54m, while public land was sold for pennies to companies with cosy ties to Lord Houchen. Liam Byrne is asking the million-dollar question: did we, the taxpayers, get shafted in securing the best value? Gove's answer is as satisfying as a soggy biscuit – full of deferral and deference to Houchen, almost like he can’t really say much to cross the man.

In a political landscape where profits are privatised and losses socialised, the Teesworks scandal is unfolding like a soap opera, complete with villains in suits and a plot thick with intrigue. As Gove dithers and Houchen preens, the stench of a coverup grows stronger.

Why does this matter to us? Because it's symptomatic of a deeper rot – a government that treats transparency like a dirty word, integrity like it’s a foreign meal and accountability like an optional extra. It’s a circus of omnishambles and fuckery, and we’re the audience, expected to clap and cheer while the clowns run the show.

To Wrap Up

My dear readers, I’ve been led astray, duped by the shiny object that is the Rwanda Scheme, while the real rot festers in the shadows. It’s like being distracted by a cheap magician’s trick while your pockets are being picked. But no more. I've seen the light, and it’s glaringly obvious that there are bigger, much more sordid fish to fry.

Let’s not mince words here – the Tory government is a hotbed of fuckery, and it's our job to shine a light on it, not just where they want us to look. The Northern Ireland strikes, the WASPI women, the Teesside Inquiry – these aren’t just side shows; they're the main event. They are the evidence of a government more concerned with optics than outcomes, more invested in maintaining power than exercising responsibility.

I promise to delve deeper into these cesspools of mismanagement and malfeasance. I vow to keep my eyes wide open, not on the ball the Tories want us fixated on, but on the sleight of hand they're playing under the table. It's time to shift our gaze from the distractions to the disasters they're trying to shove under the proverbial carpet.

So, buckle up, my fellow seekers of truth. Our journey is far from over. In fact, it's just getting started. We're going to dissect, discuss, and disseminate every sordid detail of these systemic failures. Because while the Rwanda Scheme is a sideshow, the real circus is the entire Tory tenure – and it's high time we pulled back the curtain.

Let the real show begin.