An Apology to My Neglected Subscribers
And a Big Announcement
Dearest, most patient readers,
First off, I’ve been that person - the one who vanishes like a Tory manifesto promise while my poor Substack has been gathering more dust than a backbench MP. For that, I owe you a big, heartfelt apology. But before you start hurling your pints at me, let me explain. I haven’t been twiddling my thumbs in silence - I’ve been working on something far more exciting than just shouting into the void. I’ve been pouring all my energy into my second book, and this time, it’s got an actual structure, a coherent theme, and significantly fewer spelling catastrophes!
Now, for the big reveal... drumroll, please!
I’m thrilled to officially announce the title:
Bear Necessities of Politics and Power.
It’s packed with the same eye-rolling exasperation you’ve come to expect from me as I pick apart and dissect the absurdities of political ideologies and show how they invade every corner of our daily lives. It’s not intended to be a serious book (God forbid), though it will certainly cover some serious subjects - just don’t expect a PhD-level deep dive into political theory.
The intent behind this book wasn’t to create an academic tome that unlocks the mysteries of global politics, but more of a guide for those of us who’ve ever been called a “dirty commie” or “fascist” on Twitter and didn’t quite know how we got there - or maybe for those who’ve thrown those terms around without really knowing what they mean. It’s my personal take on making sense of the often absurd political landscape, especially in the UK, but it will visit a few different places (and times) to build context. If nothing else, it might help you win your next Twitter spat, and hopefully, make you laugh at the madness we’re all living through.
I’ve been waist-deep in edits, locked in a never-ending showdown with deadlines that seem to have developed a personal vendetta against me (though I will admit that many of these have been self-imposed)and that’s part of the reason why this Substack has been left to wander the wilderness a bit. But don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten it. Consider this space as having been left to “ripen” before I serve up the full feast that’s on its way!
To make it up to you, here’s a little something special:
First, the first official peak at the Book Cover - because nothing says, “I’m back,” quite like a pretty picture.
And second, something even better (unless you’re really into book covers): an excerpt from the book itself. In the excerpt, Ayn Rand and John Maynard Keynes are locked in a fiery ideological debate in a pub - it’s the kind of encounter you can only imagine happening during a twisted pub crawl between philosophy and economic theory. Because, honestly, who doesn’t love imagining these two squaring off over a pint?
The scene unfolds in a dimly lit pub, where smoke from cigarettes curls lazily through the air. Somewhere, between London and New York, a peculiar crossroad of time and ideology, where Ayn Rand and John Maynard Keynes sit opposite each other at a well-worn table. At first glance, they could be mistaken for any two pub patrons—Keynes, gently stirring his pint, with that unmistakable air of calculated ease; Rand, cigarette held aloft, smoke dancing above her like a crown. The tension between them, however, is palpable.
Rand takes a long drag, her eyes narrowing as she glances disdainfully towards the pub’s window. Outside, the faint flicker of government-funded streetlights illuminate the night, and Rand, ever the purist, can’t help but sneer. “This is the problem with society today,” she begins, her voice sharp and deliberate, “this blind obsession with sacrifice. Everyone's scrambling to serve some imaginary 'greater good.' It’s disgusting, really. The individual should be free, unburdened by the chains of the state.”
Keynes raises an eyebrow, clearly amused, though not entirely surprised. He sips his pint with the sort of nonchalance that comes from years of knowing better. “Ah, the greater good,” he muses. “I suppose you’re talking about the very roads you used to get here tonight? The pint you’re enjoying now, brewed in a facility adhering to safety standards set by—what was it again? Oh yes, the government.”
Rand exhales, flicking ash from her cigarette onto the table with a touch of disdain. “Safety standards? Pah. If a business can’t be trusted to ensure the quality of its own product, it deserves to fail. The market will correct itself. The strong survive, and the weak crumble. It’s the natural order.”
Keynes leans back, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “The invisible hand! How quaint. But you see, Ayn, that invisible hand doesn’t seem to know how to build bridges or hospitals. When the free market is left entirely to its own devices, you don’t end up with utopia—you end up with potholes and pandemics.” He sets his glass down firmly. “Do you remember 1929? The free market brought the world to its knees.”
Rand, ever unshaken, flicks her cigarette toward an unseen ashtray, her voice cold. “The crash of '29 was the fault of government intervention. Had the market been left alone, we wouldn’t have been saddled with the disgraceful New Deal.”
At this, Keynes laughs—a soft, knowing chuckle that seems to echo off the pub’s walls. “The New Deal saved millions from ruin, Ayn. The infrastructure your beloved businesses now rely on? That’s thanks to those very policies. You can’t claim that individualism is the answer when we live in a world that relies on collective action—roads, clean water, education. Shall I go on?”
Rand’s lips tighten into a thin line. “Education should be earned,” she snaps. “Not handed out like government cheese. And don’t get me started on roads. If people want them, they should pay for them directly, not through the tyranny of taxes.”
Keynes lets out a sigh, his patience wearing thin but still intact. “You see, that’s where your vision fails. In your world, it’s every person for themselves. But when the bridges collapse, when the streetlights go dark, what happens then? Will you build your own road to freedom, Ayn?”
Rand’s eyes narrow as she leans forward, her voice low and unyielding. “Yes. Private companies would compete to provide better roads. Only those willing to pay would get access.”
Keynes shakes his head, the smile fading as his tone becomes more serious. “So, in your utopia, every road would be privatised? Every pothole a business opportunity? And what of those who can’t afford to pay for access? Will they simply stay put, stranded in your glorious free market?”
Rand leans back, folding her arms as though the conversation bores her. “If you can’t afford a road,” she says coldly, “then perhaps you shouldn’t be driving. It’s not society’s job to hold your hand.”
Keynes takes one final sip of his pint, a deep sigh escaping his lips. “Ah, Ayn, you’re so obsessed with the notion of freedom that you’ve twisted it into something almost unrecognisable. Freedom isn’t just the right to succeed; it’s the right to live in a society where collective needs are met, where we aren’t all one bad day away from anarchy. You can’t have one without the other.”
Rand, unwavering, flashes a sharp smile. “Freedom is sacred. Taxes, regulations—they're just chains disguised as progress. Bitcoin,” she adds with a glint in her eye, “now that’s true freedom. Decentralised. Beyond the reach of your meddlesome state.”
Keynes can’t help but laugh, a full-throated sound that reverberates through the pub. “Bitcoin? Oh, Ayn, that’s the Libertarian’s wet dream. Free from taxes, free from oversight—but entirely dependent on the infrastructure of the state you claim to despise. It’s quite the paradox, really. You want to be free from the state, but you still want its roads, its internet, its safety nets.”
Rand’s smile grows even sharper, her eyes gleaming with conviction. “The state will crumble, John. Its inefficiencies will be its undoing. The market will prevail.”
Keynes raises his glass one last time, as if to toast the absurdity of it all. “And when it does, Ayn, I’ll be here, offering government-funded repairs for your crumbling roads. Because even Libertarianism can’t fix a flat tyre.”
It’s just a little taste of the absurdity I’ve been working on, where we pit Libertarianism’s loudest cheerleader against the man who believed state intervention could save us all from the brink of disaster. The book, much like this snippet, doesn’t hold back when it comes to tackling power, politics, and the sheer ridiculousness of the world we’re living in.
Bear Necessities of Politics and Power will be out soon (though yes, I’m still battling a few commas and quotation marks and fighting off some particularly stubborn sentence structure demons - no one told me that would be part of the process).
But, rest assured, it’s on its way, and I promise it’ll be worth the wait (or at least I hope it will!).
So here’s to you - the patient ones, the ones who haven’t unsubscribed in a fit of rage (and honestly, that deserves an award). Thanks for sticking with me, and I promise you’ll be hearing from me more regularly from now on - whether you like it or not.
Best,
Bear
Go, Bear! Not often on Twitter these days, for obvious reasons - but have liked and commented just to keep you going,,,:-)
I will wait patiently for your work to be published & then purchase a copy. I love your long coffee-required threads on Twitter.